#17 | Mindbites - Our views on Everything Movember!

welcome back to mind bites. I'm tom and I'm joe, and this is our high value short form episodes where we will break down and discuss a certain topic in 10 to 15 minutes. Everything we discuss is either backed by studies online or is from our points of view. Joe and I are not experts in these fields, so please do your own research. On top of this, the topic we're going to discuss today is an incredibly important one, and it's Movember. We're coming up to November. It's currently the 27th of October now we're shooting this. I'm just going to give a quick definition of Movember and a bit more about it first, and then we'll get into it.

Movember is working to encourage men to stay healthy in all areas of their life, with a focus on men staying socially connected and becoming more open to discussing their health and significant moments in their lives. We've just filmed a podcast with Fraser McDonald Lister, which was so good, such an intelligent guy, and we touch more Movember as well with him. So please go and check that episode out. I think it will be out around the 5th or 6th of November, around that time. So please go and check that out and support Fraser and everything he's doing there. But I want to start this off, joe. We didn't know and we've we felt a bit rubbish. This is, movember is not just about men's mental health. It's men's health as a whole, so it's things such as testicular cancer, prostate cancer and now, quite newly, men's mental health. It's men's health as a whole, so it's things such as testicular cancer, prostate cancer and now, quite newly, men's mental health, and this is something we discussed before. We didn't actually know that, did we?

no, and when we mentioned it prior to the actually the interview starting, he corrected us and said just a heads up. I get this all the time. Everyone says the same thing they think it's just about, which isn't a bad thing to assume it's about that, but it's about men's health in general, so suicide prevention as well. Um, I think prostate cancer was the first one they ever started doing it for, and they've added on the other one since. Is that right?

yes I think so.

We'll talk about testicular cancer first, something we literally spoke about off camera do you check your balls? We both said no, uh, not something I've really ever thought about doing, uh, until we had that chat with fraser and he was saying check out the website, discuss it. We'll talk a bit more about this. Uh, now important to raise awareness around it. So please go and check out the movember website how to do it properly whether that's warming yourself up in a shower or a bath and then using your thumb and finger rolling over one testicle to check what's normal for you and check for any changes or anything painful and repeat that on both sides and make sure, please, please, no matter what age you are, encourage other people to do it too. It's prostate cancer and testicular cancer are massive killers in men. So please, please, do check this out and encourage people to, and take away that stigma of it being awkward to talk about.

I think that's the most important thing yeah, I agree, mate, well done, I think. Also it's, I think, to normalize it in the same way that breast cancer is in women.

I completely agree, completely agree. And secondly, we're going to talk about prostate cancer again not something I've ever really thought about. I'm not sure about you and I'm actually really happy we had that chat with fraser, because you know testicular cancer and prostate cancer. You kind of you know about it but you feel invincible, right, you're in your 20s probably like no, that'll probably never happen to me, but the amount of people's lives that's getting impacted by things like prostate cancers and testicular cancer at such a young age is incredible. Um, so please, please, raise awareness for that, talk about it, be open about it. On joe and i's end, we're going to talk about it more. We're going to raise it on stuff like this, this mind bite on our next podcast and really push it this november too.

And if you do want to support Movember causes, check out on the website. There's so many great causes to support Things such as Mo Bros Rugby, which is Fraser's rugby team. There are loads of different communities. You can join in this space as well, so please go and check that out. The main one we wanted to talk about with Joe and I obviously Joe and I are massive advocates for men's mental health and mental health as a whole is the mental health side and some stats. On Movember, 27% of men said they do not have any close friends or any friends at all to talk to their mental health or, in general, talk to anything about. 47% of men do not talk openly with friends about their problems either, which is massive Basically one in two men. That's a hard thing, right. I'm not sure how you feel about talking to your friends about stuff.

I think massively. I think only up until the last maybe five years, I felt more comfortable doing this because of the platform that we provided. So it'd be quite backward if we just say, no, we don't do it and I don't do it enough. I think I mean you and I are quite good for this. I mean you and I, we check in sort of most days of not just check how we are, but also to be, we talk most days anyway. So we, we, we do more than maybe with most people. Um, and I was guilty of that, I was that person, I was one of those stats up until maybe five, six years ago, and I think maturing certainly helps, but I just sort of felt ashamed to and I felt like I normally understand it. Um, no one really understand what, where I was, I was coming from, whereas now I'm, I'm one of the many millions who are probably more, maybe too, open. Um, but yeah, I was.

That was me once upon a time I think we talk very openly about that stuff because we have similar values as well.

I think it's hard we talked about, uh, parts of like university etc and being in with the wrong crowds on previous podcasts.

I think it's a hard thing to open up to people if you don't have a similar point of view on things like, say, if someone's a bit more closed off or a bit more I don't know up tight with things and you're like the complete opposite.

I think that's when I found with my mental health in particular, you really start to go into shells when you can't connect with people and you feel like I've said this before this uh analogy of almost feeling like a triangle trying to fit into a circle situation and I think that's what a lot of people are in at the moment is they feel like a lot of people that they know aren't going through similar things or don't really care and wouldn't really want to listen anyway.

And that's kind of how I felt until we released that first episode of the podcast and the amount of messages we got and the amount of people saying the similar journeys they went through or, you know, parents being here or whatever it was was like insane. When I got back into the rugby club, it was people that I gym with every day who I just thought were like super, you know, alpha guys who wouldn't, didn't have situations I I was going through and maybe I was just being an anomaly, but it's not the case at all so please do please do talk, and I know you've.

You've gone through similar situations as well yeah, I think, um, what one or two things you said that were really poignant.

There was one university which we touched on with fraser in the podcast, which I think anyone listening to this who has gone through similar circumstances at university or is at university, more importantly now, who is going through that that would be quite a good one to listen to or watch, because he touches on university and how amazing it was in one way through the community of sport and how challenging it was because you know you've got to find, you've got to go, you've got to actively go and find those things and you've got to do it of your own fruition. So, um, that was two things that really set out to me what you just said there One university and two community, which obviously is what he stands for with the Mo Bros thing. So, again, anyone interested in that, with the Mo Bros and Movember campaigns they're doing, do check out that episode we did with Fraser coming out in a week or two's time. So there's a lot more in depth with that kind of stuff.

Yeah, he was wicked as well. Just wanted to go on to a point. If someone is struggling with their health, or is struggling with their mental health, especially in the month of november now it's being pushed a lot more on the november side what are some of the signs that people could look for, say, if they are in distress or you know they might be a more closed off person? But little signs, little hints that you could tell someone struggling yeah it's.

It's a great one to look out for, because and fraser and I and you touched on this the other day is signs such as if people have a lack of interest in normal interests, so if someone is particularly sporty or active and not being as active as normal. Looking out for those kind of signs, if they're particularly irritable over a prolonged period of time, a bit more snappy, not particularly with it disinterested like I. Like I said, mood swings, but also eating habits as well, if they're eating sort of irregularly or eating more or maybe less. Um, looking at those kind of signs and those might be sort of telltale signs, someone who, um, you might check in with or check in twice with and also one more from me, was sleep.

Remember phrase, phrase said on the pod. He was like it's almost become a competition these days of people to compare how little they sleep. But he was like, really look into that a lot more. You know if someone's really not sleeping, you see those bags beneath their eyes. You know what is the reason they're not sleeping. Are they up late or do they have a say? If it's a vitamin deficiency, that that could be it. You know, as I've had with my stuff, or could it be something a lot more in depth? Like they're really struggling mentally, they've got a lot on and they can't shut down properly to go to sleep and they're just maybe not. They're trying to stay awake in those situations to distract themselves, to really just check in on people, see what their sleep schedule is like.

And, as you said before, that sort of irritability in situations is a very obvious one, especially with friends of mine that I look out for Attached to that as well with sleep is that if they're cancelling things a lot I mean, I was really really bad for this and I'm trying not to be that guy anymore, but I used to cancel everything I would say yes and eventually I'd just stop being invited to things because everyone was like, well, joe's not going to come anyway, so what's the point inviting him. So if people are cancelling, turning up late for things, not turning up at all, those are the kind of also signs that might be that things are starting to go look, you know, go downwards, starting to deteriorate, for someone's mental health is definitely looking out for that if you invited them. They're turning up late regularly, missing meetings, uh, social events. They're cancelling, or leaving really really early after 10 minutes.

those are the signs definitely and I can relate to those as well big, big time agreed and lastly, on the movember website we talked about this with fraser again is methods and the way you can talk to people, and they use a method called the alec method, which is ask, listen, encourage and check in. So ask, listen, encourage, check in, which is so important. Fraser said as well don't tell people what to do, just encourage that conversation and create a safe space for them to come and speak to you about it. That's one of the most important things, because a lot of people want to make that decision theirself. The minute you try and force them to do things, they almost withdraw and they don't do it in the end. So ask, listen, encourage and check in.

And he uses the analogy of of being told to go and see a therapist. Sounds super aggressive and yeah, or if I've got told to go and see a therapist, either one wouldn't go and two I'll be re-insulted is open the conversation up to say have you ever thought about therapy? It just they sound completely different. And that's the kind of thing that you can make it decide for themselves, like you said, and check in twice as well, not just once. Ask, ask twice, not once completely agree.

And the last one I'm just going to bring up and this isn't part of november was when we had alex bowen on the podcast and he talked about the three text rule. So messaging someone, waiting for their reply and then going, no really, are you okay? Just opening that conversation, taking the sort of stigma about taking the stigma out of it, and just creating people a safe space to feel open, to chat if they do want to chat to you, or just knowing that you're there, is going to help everyone a lot more. And especially in these tough months coming up to christmas and post christmas as well arguably a tougher time of year I think it's a lot darker outside already. It's a lot colder. People are going to be struggling a lot more with their mental health. So please do check in, uh, and support movember as much as you can, but for the meantime, that's it from me, that's it from me as well, and this is Inside of Mind. Mind Bytes Movember edition. Woo, check it.