#24 | Taylor James - Meet the Man Behind a Top 10 Mental Health Podcast + More on Taylor’s Crazy Chat with Ed Sheeran! (Part 1)

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A few years ago, I nearly lost my mom to an operation that went horribly wrong and she's very short space of time. I had to kind of learn how to separate fact and emotion, like focus was getting my sister through my name's taylor, james, I host the Waffle Shop podcast, which was well, it is a kind of a hybrid between a music and mental health podcast that was born out of quite a traumatic experience for me. A few years ago. I nearly lost my mom to an operation that went horribly wrong. She's now in a neurological care home requiring 24-hour care, and in the process of when everything was happening, I just just I hit rock bottom.

Didn't have a clue about mental health at the time and, yeah, through various kind of forms of therapy and talking to my younger sister, it kind of got to the stage where I was like, okay, I can't carry this all on my own. So I started talking about it and still I'd say there's quite a lot recently, especially like I still to this day do not know why I sat down and decided to record that first episode. But yeah, four years later, it's probably the best decision I've ever made so yeah, you're absolutely killing it.

Number one in Austria, as we were talking about before mental.

I have no idea what it means, but it does better in like countries that don't speak English or it's not like their first language.

So it's surreal. It must resonate with a lot of people. That's what we found. Is people trying to find decent mental health podcasts? There's a lot of people out there who are struggling, People like yourself, people like me. Joe Shaban, behind the camera, you know we've all gone through our fair share of things, From coming back to you speaking about your mum what was that like? Because that's still quite recent, only a couple of years ago. How was that? The first, you know, six months of sort of coping with that.

To be honest, it was completely not a blur. In a very short space of time, I had to kind of learn how to separate fact and emotion. Obviously, I was having very difficult conversations with top surgeons and physiotherapists and talking about things like brain damage and all these things that no one should ever really hear about, regardless of what the relation might be. So, yeah, I had to grow up very quickly as well as then almost become a parent to my younger sister at the time, take on the family home. So it was a bit of a lethal cocktail, um, but the first six months, in all honesty, mate, was a completeness, a blur. I do not know how I got through it, um, but I think it was just that kind of resilience that's fair, that I've learned from my mom that regardless of what's thrown at you, you just kind of keep going, um. So, yeah, it's. It's a bit of a difficult one to answer because if you ask me what happened in that space of time, other than pretty much every day was spent at a hospital in some form of capacity or rehab center, um, yeah, I don't know. Autopilot, completeness, autopilot, yeah, um, which is it's good in one way, because I just kind of almost switched off the noise and just kind of got on with it.

And, like I said about the switching off the emotion, um to like deal with the facts. I think it kind of gave me this real powerful tool of ignoring the noise and just focusing on what I needed to focus on, like in that time I knew my mom was in the best place. Obviously the top surgeons and the doctors, all these people were looking after her. So my like focus was getting my sister through what was quite a difficult time of her life anyway, because it happened the day before she started gcses. So that was the focus for probably the first six weeks, um, and then rehab center after family dramas, and it all kind of kind of took quite an ugly turn. But always had that kind of voice at the back of my head of like what would my mom do in these situations? And now I'm so glad I learned from the best because I have quite a resilience when it comes to like drama or difficult life yeah challenges.

Yeah, yeah, because it kind of gives me that knowledge of like or that belief.

I guess it's like whatever is thrown at me, I'm going to be okay do you find the podcast with was kind of a way out for you, like almost that's what we've talked about before. As, if you don't know, joe is my first guest and we look back on that first session and we call it like a therapy session, or there is a podcast episode. It's like we both sat there afters and the cameras were off and this is what we didn't even know, like how cameras were working, but the cameras were off.

We were both sitting there afterwards and we were just like, oh like, were just super quiet, weren't we? We almost both needed to get that off our chest, and that was the first time I'd properly talked to Joe I'd seen him at rugby before. But just the whole starting of this podcast in particular and that's why I wanted to ask about yours do you still feel the sort of therapeutic effects from it? Well, it saved me thousands. When you have experts coming on. It basically is like people you pay hundreds of pounds to talk to.

And everyone loves talking about themselves. So, come on, I'm going to take everything I need from this conversation. You'll see, like some of the early episodes, this is why I can't put them on YouTube, because I'm literally just sat there writing notes.

But no, you're absolutely spot on. I don't think people realise just how Everyone nowadays is told you need to open up, you need to talk. But I think a lot of people in this room are at a point of their life now because they gave in to that vulnerability and opened up and shared their story and spoke about it. But, yeah, it's, the best thing I ever did was sitting down and just kind of admitting that I needed help and like talking about it, and now I've developed some incredible coping mechanisms.

I've learned so much, like how to be a man, how to manage finances, all these things that my parents didn't teach me, my support network around me didn't teach me, and that's not I'm not taking shots, it's just they did what they needed, like with the tools that they had at the time, and it just so happened that I was like, okay, well, if I've learned this much about my mental health just by having these kind of conversations and opening up, well, what else can I talk about and learn? So it's just been that. Yeah, I'm forever grateful. So I advise everyone. Well, yeah, I'd advise everyone to do it. I agree.

I agree. We've said this, though. The final competition is this Do you feel like being from a musical background as well?

we didn't. Can you say that I got it? Where have you got that from?

I thought this was. I thought that's why you started the music side. I have no musical talent whatsoever.

You're joking. No, that's the part we're going to have to do.

We were actually going to bring a guitar in and you were going to have to play for us.

I'm not even I can say this, I'm not even an Ed Sheeran fan. And everyone, the first thing, everyone ever asked me is like, oh my god, you had Ed Sheeran. I'm like, yeah. Then afterwards I went to Aldi to do my show.

It doesn't it doesn't like, not from an ego point, no, no, no, and that's very kind of you. Yeah, but I have no musical talent. It's just it's always been there from very young age. Like I grew up around music, like okay, my mom was like a like a 90s kind of typical mom.

my dad used to run like illegal raves, so I always yeah, I've been around music my whole life and then, when you know, started to hit in the fan and stuff like that, like the, I found that the music was the one thing that kind of never left my side. Also, a nod to your mum, I'm sure as well.

Yes, definitely I think everyone has those songs, that kind of soundtrack like the first holiday, the first dance, all these kind of things, and I wanted to find out why people or when they were creating those songs, what were they going through? And obviously I've been very fortunate to have some of those people on the show to talk about that. Um, but in terms of my own musical so you're not gonna sing.

What was ed sheeran like when you spoke to?

so normal and this is again like the biggest lesson from that podcast. Like it does not matter if you've got millions of pounds in the bank, like olympic medals, like grammys. You are feeling exactly the same emotions as what I'm feeling. And to have one of the biggest pop stars on the planet talk about what I'm feeling, like it just completely levels the playing field in terms of well, he is a lot further or deemed a lot more successful than me obviously it's ed sheeran but all the emotions are the same.

So it completely strips that all away and I think that, to be fair, I answered this question like recently and I think that's what I think does set it aside a little bit when it comes to like the podcast is because I think I quite I disarm people because I'm not there just to talk about their latest single, their latest album. I want to know what you were going through when you were making that music. Like why did you start that business? One because I'm nosy. But two, there's enough podcasts out there that will sit and talk about the same thing over and over and over again, I agree, whereas it's like so important for this, like these kind of conversations, because it breaks all that down. It's like it doesn't matter where you're from, like there is something that you can relate to, so yeah, that's awesome, great guy.

I think that's all people really want to listen. That's all I want to listen to. I don't want to be sold to. I don't want something incredibly serious. I just want people that I can relate to, people who are authentic, people who just chat like as we're doing right now to me. I just think that's so powerful and I feel like with with podcasts as a whole, it's like don't start podcasts because there's a lot of competition, but it is just like that. And just for example, there's like you won't get to meet ed sheeran. You know, if you message ed sheeran being like, do you want to go for a coffee? Not going to happen the fact you're on a podcast you're like do you want to talk about this? And he was probably I don't know, but he was probably after as being like hmm, you know this guy, I was not expecting you to ask me those questions, it's just.

That's just such a nice, I don't know. To me it's just a nice, even if you don't publish it. I mean, obviously you've got a problem for years now. But I'm sure he found that like massively rewarding as well.

It was because I I only would. When I got given the opportunity to talk to him, I was only given 10 minutes and told I can ask one question.

Do you have a PR team or something that run his stuff?

No, so it was through, it was actually through the BBC, like local kind of radio, and why I got the opportunity and my teacher got asked the day before if I wanted to jump on a call with him. So it was very, very fast paced. Yeah, um, and yeah, I got asked, told that I can ask one question, and then, typical me, I was like, well, if I don't take this opportunity, I'm going to regret it Big time. And I just I just went for it and I think he was a bit like, oh, and then when I came in with like the music question of like you know, when time, like when things get tough for you, like what song do you lean on? And then he told this beautiful story of like a friend who meant something, a lot to him, and then he pulled out his guitar and then started playing the song.

That's so I was like this is why you don't follow the rules. Yeah, this is why you've got to trust your gut, because if I just kind of shut up and put up, that moment never would have happened. So you've just, yeah, there's so many lessons from this bloody waffle that you can take and apply to every aspect of your life. But yeah, you're very cool, you've got to go for it.

that's very cool what would you say is the most rewarding lesson you've taken from someone that's been on the waffle shop so far?

um kind of hard to pinpoint one yeah, because there's been a lot it's just so interesting to hear your view on that um, the first one that kind of really popped into my head, um, her name's holly matthews and she was a guest quite early on and we've kind of become friends like. She lives fairly local to me, um, and so we've like really stayed in touch and she gave this advice of she's from newcastle. I'm not gonna, just as my musical ability is not great, nor is my accent, so I'm not gonna do that um, because then I will be. But she said something about shy bands getting out. Basically translating into like local terms is if you don't ask, you don't get. And yeah, I think it's kind of stuck with me to be like, well, if you don't ask, you're not, you're not going to get. So the worst that they can say is no. And, believe me, like I've had a lot of no's. There's been a lot of people that I've wanted to talk to that they've just been outright no. Um, and that, yeah, that could have stopped me, could have stopped me in my tracks. But I'm a big believer now in what's meant to be will never pass you by, because some of the opportunities that have come up, that I thought these are like dream scenarios.

One stage I was moving to New York with a podcast studio just off Wall Street. I thought this is it, this is my golden ticket. It wasn't. Two days later, I'm waffling with like Scarlet muffat with the samaritans. So it's like show of goggle box. Yes, yeah, so like, you can view these things as like things that are going to stop you in your tracks, or you view them as obstacle. No, you don't view them as obstacles, you view them as stepping stones, yeah, so. Yeah, there's a. I could sit here and reel these off like all day in terms of like the lessons.

Have you always had that element of resilience, would you say that's come down to your past experiences?

I think definitely past experiences I'm my own worst enemy. So when it comes to like certain opportunities or even now, like networking events and stuff like that from a business point of view, I will go into that room and just stand there in silence. Sounds like me and it's like this is so silly because if you put me in front of one of the biggest pop stars on the planet, you won't be able to ship your own yeah it's bizarre.

Um, yeah, I think past experiences and the gut trust in the gut always and yeah, it will always work out the way it's supposed to. May not seem like it at the time, but it will happen.

That's cool if it's supposed to yeah, carrying on on the business side. How's it been being a production company owner? Has it been all good um killing it, by the way?

I don't know, I don't like, I don't know. I think I'm still in this phase of I. There's one element of it. I don't quite understand how it's managed to do what it's done.

But then, on the other hand, I'm like there's a reason for it and you know, you, you guys know this more than anyone at this point like the amount of work that goes on behind the scenes securing guests, the lighting cameras, like, like every angle of this like takes up time.

Like every angle of this like takes up time. And so to go from doing it for one podcast to now I think we've got a roster of 12, I think we've got that we work with in some capacity, Like I don't have time to sleep in some days, but I love it and I think at this point, yeah, if I was to kind of throw it all in, I think I'd be stupid because, quite clearly, this was all supposed to happen in the way that it's happened for me to gain my voice and have that confidence and believe in what I'm saying. So to now be in a position where I can help others tell their stories or develop their ideas and give them that reassurance that probably, like four years ago, I wish I had, um, yeah, it's the best job in the world.

It's surreal that I get to do it as a job do you find that, although you started doing this because of mental health and you sort of fell into it, there are times where you wake up and think like this is too much for me, it's too stressful and it's taking its toll because there's a duality between why you started it and actually the stress and anxiety that actually caused you in the first place, and there's a constant like yeah, it's really toxic.

Yeah, and I've seen something the other day on social media and it's one of those things you know when you're scrolling through and you see like a quote or something and you're just like why did I see that today?

And it was like there is nothing more painful than doing this much work on yourself and noticing or knowing about like anxiety or certain trigger points, and then experiencing it again and kind of not knowing when this is going to end, kind of thing. It's like it's so frustrating. Um, but especially recently it's kind of pushed me to a point where I did question it of like, do I want to keep doing this? Because, yeah, I did that typical thing of I should know by now not to bottle things up, not to ask for help, and I just cracked on. And then it just got to a point where I experienced my first nosebleed. Um, I was recently put on back on anxiety medication because I worked myself up that much when, when I took a step back and started journaling again and just kind of really like got down to like the crux of everything, of what's going on.

Yeah, yeah all the tools that I knew were in my toolkit. I just ignored to use them. Um, but, yeah, there are days when I'm just like I don't know about this, but then, like I was saying about the podcast, I'll be that something that will remind me to be like this is why you carry on. So, yeah, it's still a massive work in progress. Yeah, but I love it.

Hi guys, joe here, hope you enjoy part one. Don't forget quickly to like and subscribe. Our stuff really, really helps the page massively. Here's what can expect to find in part two, enjoy.

It's a weird one with me because, like the scales are never quite level. It's like I either get myself into a good like physical, like like I guess routine, then I'd notice like my mental Health kind of like dips a little bit.